Notable Takeaways from 2019 ESVOC-Conducted Survey

Have you sent nudes? Why did you/do you send nudes?

• It was left up to a threat that if I didn’t, a rumor was going to be sent around and at the time my home life was horrible so if this rumor got sent around and my mom found out things would have gotten horrible for me and I fell into an extremely depressed state

• I didn’t want him to lose interest and he’d been asking me for a week and I felt like I couldn’t lead him on without sending him anything. Partner seems disappointed when I say no. It was something that I wanted to get something out of. It was a way that I could initiate things. There have definitely been times where I was actually interested in the person sexually but also there have been times when I did it and I liked the person and I thought that if I had initiated the relationship in that way it would lead to something more

• Yeah. I kind of wanted to; it’s fun, but I felt like if I didn’t it would assume more pressure on me

• When I did it in eighth grade, it's because there was a guy I really liked. We didn’t live close but he sent me a picture and I felt kind of pressured to send one back

• Yes. I’ve always felt like it’s a security factor in the relationship - if my words couldn’t do it, I figured my body could pull the extra weight to get someone to like me. I’ve never felt comfortable, and have sometimes been ostracized for not sending nudes back

Have you ever been cat-called? Where were you? What were you wearing? Did you know the person? How did you feel about it? Did you ever address the person or the situation? Did you tell someone?

• Yeah, at central, definitely. At school. No idea, one time I was wearing my marching band uniform. Regular clothes that you would just wear. No. I was just like “ummm ok” that’s kind of weird. No. Yeah, my friends were probably around me at the time.

• The third time was by a freshman in May during school. I was going to the gym for something.

• Yes. In school, I was told to do a ‘double take’ past a group of boys and my sister was asked if people could touch her breasts.

How would you react if unwanted sexual advances were made towards you?

• If it was an unwanted advance it would be very awkward and I am not sure what I would do based on past experiences. Guys have made it clear that I have no control over the situation. 

• In the past few years, it’s happened so much that it’s become normal to me.

• I would be mad, but I feel like I have this issue where I need to be nice to people all the time and it makes me vulnerable

• I would be uncomfortable and I don’t know if I’d have the courage to stop anything for fear of confrontation. I have a hard time drawing the line with guy friends

Have you ever learned about what to do in case of unwanted sexual advances made towards you?

• No.

• They talked about it in about extremes, I’ve always known how to say no/run away/get help but in eighth grade I needed different tools.

• I think I’ve seen numbers to call but I don’t learn in  school - I’ve learned on my own

• In health class, they give us coin references like ‘if I wanted to get pawed I’d get a dog’, but none of them have proved useful or applicable in real situations

Would you know how to report a sexual assault if it happened? Would you report it?

• Yes, but I have tried to report before and was treated like a joke. Nobody listened, including the police. 

• No.

• You go down to the precinct and fill out a written report or fill out a kit at the hospital. Police stations never really send them out to labs even though they’re supposed to

• No. I think it would depend on the situation. I would tell people but I don’t know if I’d actually report it to the authorities. If it was someone I didn’t know I would, but if it was someone I was close with, I would approach it in a different way

• No. Probably not in our school environment

• I wouldn’t know how to do it but I feel like I could look it up. I have no idea how to do it at ConVal. Probably, but I feel like people don’t always believe people who report.

• I would not know how to report. I feel like I could figure it out, but I would never want my name to be shared or for word to spread any further than it had to. I have reported before and my case was brought to the police. They never saw me in person or asked for a testimony just because I didn’t want to press charges. It is embarrassing.

Have you ever proceeded to make intimate advancements with a person you did not want to? Why? Did you feel uncomfortable saying no? Do you fear confrontation?

• Yes. I felt I had no other choice. Yes. Yes, I felt I was gonna be a bad guy and the person was going to lash out at me.

• Yes. Because they wanted to, and I felt uncomfortable with confrontation.

• Yes but at the same time, it was more of “why not” “I don’t like you, but does it matter?”

Do you feel held to an unfair standard compared to the women/men around you?

• “Boys will be boys,” I think it’s different but I don’t want to generalize; society does treat guys differently than they do girls

• I feel like guys can get away with being mean to girls or get away with passing over emotions. The way that guys treat girls in relationships isn’t okay either, ‘what he says goes’